


“You’re everything to me, yet I’m nothing to you.”

by dezmari



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Imprisonment, Kylo Ren Angst, POV Kylo Ren, one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 10:52:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10661070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dezmari/pseuds/dezmari
Summary: Kylo Ren is a fool in love.





	“You’re everything to me, yet I’m nothing to you.”

When she left, Kylo didn’t give it a second thought before he followed her trail. It shouldn’t have surprised him when following her led him to a Resistance base, because where else would she go.

After much deliberating, he could admit that at the moment he hadn’t thought things through. Everything in him was set on finding her, because something must have happened for her to leave him without a word.

He was captured by the Resistance, didn’t even try to fight them. They placed him in cuffs and dragged him to a cell and all he could do was try and feel her through the Force. It was as if she was doing her hardest to block him out, but it couldn’t be. He had never felt her so far away, so far out of his reach.

They tried to interrogate him every few days, asking him about the First Order and their bases. Each and every time he answered with a question of his own. “Where is she?” He hated how desperate his voice sounded to his own ears. His question was always met with silence.

He felt he was going insane, a month with no sign of her, no information, no response through their bond. Every time a guard came by to bring him food he itched to kill them, to force them into taking him to her, force his way into their minds for a chance to catch a glimpse of her in their thoughts. It would be so easy.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He had promised her he wouldn’t hurt anyone unnecessarily.

As days passed he retreated into silence, he stared at the floor and ignored the guards as they came and went, as they asked him tirelessly about the First Order. He didn’t eat, didn’t sleep. He just sat there on his knees.

He wasn’t sure how many days had passed since his capture. His gaze broke away from the floor to Rey's, her presence engulfing the room. “If you keep up this little game, you’re going to die.” Her words were flat, her expression annoyed.

He breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her. “I was worried.” He blurted out before he could stop himself. “You hadn’t come to see me, they wouldn’t tell me anything, and I couldn’t feel you. Why couldn’t I feel you? Why did you not respond when I called to you?” His relief had turned again into worry as the expression on her face remained unchanged.

“I was blocking you, Kylo.” She explained slowly. At the confused look on his face she let out an exasperated sigh. “I escaped from you, I didn’t want you to find me. Why would you think otherwise?.” He couldn’t answer, still trying to make sense of her words. “The only reason I’m here is because you’re slowly killing yourself and although that would save the Resistance a lot of trouble, you still have useful information.”

The meaning behind her words hit him hard, he was filled with shame. He knew that she could sense it, his mind was open to her as it had always been. A flash of pity crossed her features as he came to the sad realization. If he hadn’t felt so defeated he would had probably lashed out, but he couldn’t physically bring himself to move. He felt weak, body and mind. He had raced over to find her from halfway across the galaxy thinking something had happened to her for her to leave him.

Oh, how foolish he’d been.

After a long silence, he was the one to speak. “You’re everything to me, yet I am nothing to you.” He looked up at her, eyes pleading her to contradict him. She was always pretending he realized, she had used his longing against him. Every touch, every word, every kiss; a lie. And in his overwhelming need for someone to care, he had missed all the signs.

“I did what I had to in order to survive.” There was anger in her every word and suddenly her mind was open to him. She felt he had left her no choice, she hadn’t expected things to go so far. She had seen a chance and she took it, she ran. A loud voice screamed in her head while a much softer voice murmured how she didn’t want to hurt him. “You should have let me go.”

He had told her he loved her. She flinched as she sensed his thoughts. His eyes bore into hers, his gaze hard and unwavering. After everything, even as each word from her lips breaks him, he still loves her.

“Tell your precious Resistance, I will not talk.” His voice was hard, but everything in him screamed defeat and he knew she sensed it. How pathetic he must look to her, on his knees before her defeated, no will in him to recover.

“You’ll be executed.” Rey warned him, but even as she tried to hide it a part of her softly begged him to reconsider, he lingered on that thought and softly he brushed his mind with hers. A goodbye. Her expression turned soft then, so much like he remembered, her hazel eyes drawing him in.

“So be it.” He turned his gaze back to the ground, it took everything in him to hang on to what was left of his pride and not to ask her to end his misery right there and then.

**Author's Note:**

> So here’s some angst! It’s my first time attempting a Kylo Ren pov. Is it too ooc?  
> So this one is one-sided, although I do believe Rey couldn’t bring herself to simply hate him even when she couldn’t love him.  
> Feel free to send requests.


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